One of my biggest passions in life is personal growth. I devour self-help books and spiritual books just to learn more about the human experience. I think I might be addicted to insights. You know, those blips of realizations after which you never look at things the same way again? Call them epiphanies, aha-moments or inspirations - it's all the same to me. I quietly ponder and let my mind settle and sometimes, not every time, but sometimes some genius arises from within me. I know I am the source of these insights, but I know I don't come up with them. They come from something greater. 

I've learned that insights come more reliably when I'm in a certain state of mind. The less busy my mind is, the better. Sometimes I can't let my mind settle to save my life. My mind feels muddled and cloudy. Other times my mind is remarkably calm even when I'm physically busy doing other stuff. These are the least convenient times to get an insight. But funnily enough, often when my song inspirations occur. 

It's hard to describe what an insight is. But I'll try: I think about something a certain way. Then from seemingly out of nowhere, I get a flash, a thought, an insight of being able to see that same thing a different way. 

My teacher in India told it this way: "It's dark and you look at something that appears to be a snake. You get frightened and want to run for your life. But when you turn the light on, you see it is only a rope. Even when the light goes off again, you can't see the same thing as a snake ever again. Because now you know, it's a rope."

I think this is the phenomenon that makes children see monsters in their rooms. Like the beginning scene of Monsters Inc. where the child sees the monster approaching, but then it's only his jacket hanging over the chair. 

Once we realize something profound like that, everything else looks different. It almost feels like you get a new view of life like you stepped up the ladder of life and are able to see things from a different, a clearer, perspective. 

Reading books about spiritual and self-help topics seems to get my mind churning in a very specific way that lets out insights. Maybe it's the act of quiet listening (I listen to audiobooks while I drive) while simultaneously having to be relaxed but alert that creates that perfect state of mind for these insights to occur. I'm not sure why, but it works for me. And I think this is why I love it so. 

 Welcome to my Blog. It is going to be living on Patreon, but will be free for everyone for the time being. Hope you enjoy!

This last year has been incredibly emotional for me. I have had some of the most trying relationship situations I have ever encountered in my life. Things have been put in perspective. It’s almost as if this whole last year has been putting things in place and preparing me for what’s to come.  

As with most things, while you are in the thick of it, it’s hard to see exactly what lessons you are supposed to learn from the things you are going through. But once the dust has settled and some time has passed, most things become clear. Or at least clearer.  

I’ve noticed that by experiencing things I don’t want, I become much more keenly aware of what I do want. Does this sound familiar to you? And then sometimes, what you think you want is not even really what you want, turns out it was something that it represented. Or you liked some elements of it and the rest was actually the opposite of what you wanted or not what you thought it was going to be. Or worse, you just liked the idea of it. Once the hard work kicks in, you’re like: “um, not so much”. 
This is part of the path of finding our passion. And once we have found our broader passion we must continue to fine-tune it, and mold it into that perfect cocktail for us. Some may say that I’m just being picky. And, you know, "you can’t have it all". It may sound like I’m lazy and just quit when the hard work comes around. But I don’t think that’s true.  
I’m not afraid of hard work. I don’t think anyone who has met me would ever call me lazy. Workaholic, maybe. In fact, when I’m working in my “zone of genius” as one of my favorite authors Gay Hendricks describes it, time flies by. It hardly feels like work at all. It feels like life.  

It’s finding that particular life-cocktail that is my zone of genius that is so tricky. And then being able to spend enough time inside that zone, that is the hard part. Because, yes, bills need paying and dog needs feeding and oh yes, we gotta eat. So if my life isn’t built in a way, at least not yet, where I can spend my entire waking life in my zone of genius, I need to spend at least some of my time on these things, more likely to fall into the zone of excellence, competence or, dare I say it, incompetence. That one is the worst.  

And then sometimes, you just need something for a time. You need a certain type of break. A reprise. A minute (or three years) to breathe. And that was me. And it has been really good for me. I realized so much about myself in these last three years that I never knew, and never would have known had I not taken that step back.  

​But then what you want and need shifts again and you have to move with it. And I think this might be the biggest lesson of all. Everything changes. Especially our wants and needs. They aren’t this set thing that you can aim for and then go “once I’ve achieved that, I’m done”. Because we are never done. We must move with our ever shifting wants and needs as they grow and evolve. Some move slow, some move fast (like that top I wore every other day for 2 months and now I’m over it). But always moving, always changing. And I am moving with these changes once again.  

​Welcome to my first Blog Post. These are going to be living on Patreon, but will be free for everyone for the time being. Hope you enjoy!

As I am writing this, I am on tour with my new band Josephine the Volcano. Last night we had a night off and spent it in deep conversation. Especially exciting because we didn’t all know each other equally well when we embarked on this journey.  
We have all been bringing songs to the project for sharing and developing together. Olivia came with this awesome arrangement of the classic “Sail Away Ladies” but gave the disclaimer: “This or something better” explaining that she would love suggestions to improve this arrangement of the song. This has become somewhat of a mantra for us, musically. But yesterday we talked about this mantra as a life tool. 
“This or something better”. This is a saying I’ve used a lot. It comes from wanting a balance between planning and taking control of your goals and your future and simultaneously being absolutely ok with however things turn out. The balance between wanting something SO BAD but still being absolutely ok with not getting it. These seem like two opposites to most people. 
But I can explain how it is not. My theory is that the “easiest” road (read: simplest, most direct route, path of least resistance) to creating a life of your dreams or a life of your own design is having the strongest desire for the thing you are wanting (aka "most want”) and the least attachment to actually getting it (aka “least attachment”). So the perfect balance is the most want with the least attachment.  
But if I really want something, how can I be unattached to whether or not I get it?...

Lately I've been really grossed out by some of the trends in Country Music. It seems to me that the effort of bringing more equality into country music has been skewed. In stead of focusing on the best female artists out there, it seems more focus is being put on the best looking female artists out there.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great when an amazing female artists gets to rise to her potential. If she happens to also look nice, more power to her! I especially like hearing when these awesome ladies are genuinely good people.
What bothers me is when I see someone with mediocre (or sometimes downright awful) so-called talent get put ahead of the actually wonderfully talented ones, because of skinny tummies and pretty faces. When the way you look overshadows the art you make, we are on the wrong track.

I long for more female artists, especially in country music, since this is where my heart lies. When I see a talented lady out there rocking it, I jump for joy! But I'm not interested in the quest for adding more girls if it's going to be another objectifying fest. Then we might as well listen to more bro-country and snap open another beer. 

Feeling through all of this I remembered a song by Trisha Yearwood "Real Live Woman". This song totally encompasses how I feel we should listen to music. Forget the hype, don't believe the billboards - listen with your heart. ​